Bisexual Chick

I have decided that sexuality does not need labels. I mean, what purpose do labels serve anyway (besides organizing my random blog posts)? The only purpose I see for labeling is to separate ourselves from one another, to find a way to point to someone across the room (or the web) and say "THAT is different from me." Different isn't necessarily bad, but it isn't--oh what am I babbling about anyway? It's me. There's something wrong with me. No, not wrong. It's not wrong. I just feel...well honestly, let me get back to the beginning of this post.

Sexuality does not need to be labelled or categorized. There's no point in considering someone heterosexual, homosexual, bi or confused (insert plug in random orifice) if it's very possible that our personal views of sexuality are fluid and change depending on our stages and experiences in life. Take me for instance. I like dick. Or, at least I did the last time I saw one in person. I'm going to assume my enjoyment of said organ hasn't changed recently. But, I also find a couple of women attractive. (Which is why I keep staring at that picture of Katherine Heigl like it's about to jump out of my screen.) Does that make me bisexual to some people? It doesn't to me because I have no intention of ever having a sexual relationship with a woman. At least, for now I don't.

But it makes me wonder what would happen if I did. Would I automatically have to consider myself bi because other people would? John Oszajca did a song a few years ago called "Bisexual Chick" about women who experiment or "become" bi as part of a trend; they lick clit because they want to be seen as cool. You know, instead of trying out the newest haircut or buying the same overpriced boots as their favorite celeb. I don't ever want to be considered one of the women who only tried it because other people did and said it was cool. (Yes, that is Tyra Banks and her "friend" Kimora Lee in the picture. Unfortunately, I don't have a picture of Tyra trying to feel up Beyonce that same night.)

The truth is, I don't know what I want. Well, that's not the whole truth. I know at some point I want to marry a man, have a few babies, become at least moderately well-known as a decent writer and maybe have some fun along the way. Making a little money on that journey wouldn't hurt either. But I don't know what I want in the way of... experimental sexual experiences. I don't see myself ever being comfortable enough with a woman for that, not any time soon. But if I decide to try it, or even if I just think about it, I don't know if I'm comfortable with the idea of being labeled for it. I know how my family and some of my friends are. It would be easier for me to lie and say I don't have some curiosity or that nothing happened rather than be myself and expect everyone to be comfortable. Maybe I'm just making up excuses because I plan on meeting Angelina one day and holding her hostage for the day. ;-) Not that she'd be trying to get away. After all, she'd be with me.

You Know You Masturbate Too Much When...

I'm sure there's such a thing as too much in the way of disclosure, but I figured this post is long past due.

You know you spend too much quality time with yourself when...

-you download adult movies on a regular basis just to keep a few new ones in stock.

-(if you're a germ freak like me) you find yourself running out of that expensive anti-bacterial soap because you wash your hands so frequently. The same can be said for my favorite lotion.

-you laugh at people who get carpul from typing. They have no idea.

-your friends know better than to call you at a certain time of night. If you're answering the phone with one hand...

-if your friends do call at night (or any time where I'm concerned LOL), they get suspicious if you're too quiet, can't catch your breath, or laugh a bit off key.

-your toes have curled permanantly into one position.

-the people at the local toy store not only know you when you come in, they pull products to the side for you and give you the employee discount.

-you're me.

-you break out into uncontrollable laughter any time you hear the words "hair trigger", "massager" or "release."

Need A Spanking To Get Motivated

I've been bad lately. No, not the way you're thinking (though I wish that were the case).

I've been on and off a workaholic/lazy procrastinator. I'm supposed to be working on this serial story. I started it (I think) in December and I've got 3 1/2 chapters down. Doesn't sound too bad, but the chapters are super short and the story seems more like an afterthought sometimes. The sucky part is I REALLY like the idea and I can't wait to finish it so I can share it with people. I think it would get a good response. Never mind that I need to get paid for my writing sometime this century. (No offense, Autumn dear.) I'm entirely too lazy to be satisfied at a "real" job for long.

Speaking of that, I'm back to monster.com looking for jobs again. Apparently, I'm also too lazy to memorize 400+ drink recipes so I can become a bartender. I know it'll be good money and most likely a lot of fun. I'll do it later. Probably.

Why am I not finishing my current masterpiece (Company Policy)? It's all Lee Zett's fault. Yes, that's right. I'm blaming you. She told me this story and asked me to write it. It's not quite a ghost writing thing, more like a "say this really happened a few years ago, I want you to put it into story form for my amusement" kind of thing. It's quite an imaginative and colorful piece of fan fiction if I do say so myself. If you're not a Michael Jackson fan (and why wouldn't you be if you're reading my blog?), I don't know if you'll find Sequins and Chicken Grease entertaining. Some do. So, around 3:30-4ish this morning, I started yet another blog to encase this story.

What's killing me about this is, I began writing it on a whim, expecting it to be roughly 15-20,000 words total. The current count is around 33,000 words and I'm not sure I've reached the halfway point in the story yet. How in the world can I write so much on this story (mostly in the first month or so of writing) and I can't seem to get myself interested in a story that will do more for me professionally?

In other news, I saw an ex yesterday. For a second, I almost felt bad when I noticed that he's put on weight around the middle, that the girl he was with wasn't as cute as me (I wanted to hum Destiny's Child's She Can't Love You) and that he was so excited to see me, he asked me to contact him. I have never been so glad I walked out of the house in my cute jeans. It was just strange seeing him again. Perhaps, I should've been nicer. Then again, if I'd acted like the way our relationship ended was okay (and not his fault), his girl wouldn't have questioned him from the time I walked to the next aisle till they left the store. LOL I bet he got even more heated questions in the car. He was always bad at lying about past relationships.

This only reminded me that I should stop being snobby and respond to some of these guys on yahoo personals. Even if it's a "no thanks." I've gotten to the point where I cringe when I see that I've got a new message in my inbox. I delete the notification from my email rather than clicking the link to see who it is and what they're about. How do I expect to meet Mr. Right when I won't even wade through the Mr. Maybes?

Never mind that. I found a decent/cheap vibrator on sextoysex that I want. I'll make do with that instead of a man for now. Good thing I've got plenty of rechargeable batteries on hand!

Adult Business vs. The "Real World" of Business

I was going to start out this entry by just posting a link to Gracie's blog entry soliciting emails to prove to someone she is corresponding with that adult industry professionals are, for lack of a better term, professional when it comes to interest in promoting their blogs/businesses. (Bare with me if that whole sentence sounded long-winded. I'm always like that.) After reading the comments she has received over the last couple of days, I've changed my mind. Actually, I'm taking her advice. Instead of just posting a link, I'm going to blog on my opinion of the subject at hand, even though this is not an adult industry blog, and as an erotica writer, I'm not technically in the industry itself. (I know that's debatable.) But I do have an interest in the way others perceive those who are involved in the adult industry. Besides that, my blog has missed me. I can tell.

I can't even tell you how many times I've gotten on my high horse (or rather fancy leather studded, hand embroidered soap box) about people who look down on adult industry workers. Whether they be "actresses" or writers, I don't think someone's occupation (short of paid baby killer) is a reason to treat them as if their views/interests are inferior.

Maybe I'm overstating this. It's quite possible that Mr. Israel is simply not interested in doing an interview with Gracie because he doesn't wish to waste precious minutes for what he perceives is a small percent of the potential market for his book. Doing promotions for IBA, I can understand the idea of wanting to make the most of available promotions time and not wishing to pitch to an audience that may never buy my product. But why is there the assumption that adult industry professionals would not be interested in reading about/buying this book?

To quote a popular actor from a so-so movie, "Assumptions are the mother of all fuckups."

Blunt, but true. Why the assumption? Let's ignore the obvious flaws in this reason. I mean, the review for the book was posted on an adult industry marketing blog. Okay, the blog has been around since January, but obviously, as Mr. Israel has read a couple of posts on this blog, he knows that Gracie is not a newcomer to her particular field. Meaning: not only is her marketing experience valuable, any exposure she could give to his book should be taken as good exposure, correct?

Someone has suggested that he may not have wanted his book associated with someone in "the industry", but he didn't have an issue with her writing a glowing review of the book and linking to his blog. Obviously he has noticed some interest from people coming from her blog to his or he wouldn't have bothered contacting her. As in--duh!--she reached a few people in his target market. Later, she wished to do a follow-up on the review with an interview and was told "...I think I'll pass on the interview. I've been reducing the interviews I do anyway as I get into writing my new book. But more than that, I just don't see much potential business for me with your target audience."

I don't know if I can be objective about it because I read Gracie's marketing blog regularly and try to take her advice when I can. But, as a self-published author, I think any potential exposure to an audience is good unless the blog/site offering the interview is blatantly offensive. There are no nude photos, links to outrageous sites (yet LOL) or spam posts/ads covering the pages. The readership is growing and the blog is clearly marketed towards professionals using their blogs to market their businesses, the underlying subject of the book in question. How is that not the ideal set-up? Even if it's not one of the most popular blogs on the net, exposure from one professional to another should be accepted as such. He wasn't so offended by her target audience and content that he didn't explore her blog himself. Perhaps he found her years of experience lacking and was too polite to tell her so? Somehow, I don't think this is the case.

Anyway kids, can you do me this favor? If you're involved in the adult industry in any capacity and use your blog to market yourself, and/or you've read Naked Conversations, please read Gracie's blog entry about this particular issue and do as she says! Meaning: let Shel Israel and Robert Scoble know that not only do you know how to read, you can and do conduct yourselves like professionals. You use promotional tips and strategies just like any other legitimate business and don't appreciate being told you're simply not in the market to use the strategies discussed in their book. Oh, and you want them to be interviewed by Gracie because it will get their book in the hands of the right people.

Why Does My Friend Like Pussy So Much?

Forgive me for being a little dense, but I just can't understand my friend's near-obsession with pussy. We've been kinda close for a while and this is what I've learned so far about her fixation:

She's been pretty much obsessed with pussy since she was a kid. More often than not, you could find her stroking her own or fondling someone else's pussy in her spare time.

She likes to think of weird pussy names like Fuzzy or Michael.

When we're on the phone, I get distracted by the sounds of her stroking her pussy.

Even though it would look better, she refuses to shave her pussy. I think she's afraid of cutting her pussy. But really, isn't it normal for a pussy to bleed every so often? Besides, if she was careful, she won't cut it. It just needs a trim. Everybody likes a little trim.

She loves to stick food in her pussy (she does it a few times a day--that's why it's a fat pussy) and stroke it as it sleeps. (She shouldn't complain that her pussy is spoiled if she's the one doing it.)

Her pussy takes over the entire bed to the point where my friend has to stroke it so she can lay down.

I get the imprssion that her pussy doesn't lick itself. Hmm.

She talks about her pussy so often, I almost feel like it's mine.

She talks with other pussy lovers online about their favorite ways to play with pussy.

She LOVES showing off pictures of her unshaved pussy.

Her pussy controls her life. You can't be friends (or anything else) with this girl unless you're really fond of her pussy.

A picture of the culprit:

Know anyone else with pussy problems?

TCM Reviews Takes On Plaything

I've gotten a new review for my erotic novella Plaything. Check it out! You can also visit IBA's lulu.com store and read the preview of the story.

Reviewed by Jasmina Vallombrosa


Chris Washington, one of the world’s hottest celebrities, is busy recalling the exact moment of when his curiosity and desire for S&M began. While he is definitely aware that he is the current sex symbol and fantasy of millions of adoring fans, he is a bit weary at exploring their dedication as the last thing he needs is to be is highlighted in the gossip columns. So, with these thoughts, and taking an innocent trip from the glorious sun of Southern California to the misty London fog across the world, fate ends up answering all of his questions.

From a chance encounter at a local café, his mind and thoughts are captured by the beautiful Desiree. With luscious long hair and mischievous eyes, she has a crazy way of lighting his body and mind on fire. As she takes him into the fantasy world of S&M, he quickly finds out that while the dog collar may be his accessory of choice, his lady lust is the perfect mistress.

With the joys of dominance and subservient sexual foreplay drifting through the plot, I really enjoyed this short yet very sweet story. While the plot kept me flipping the pages and on the edge of my seat, the steamy and tantalizing love scenes certainly raised my pulses. I loved the way Ms. Winters intertwined romance and sex all into one delicious read; one doesn’t need dessert!