Release Day

Happy Valentine's Day. *happy dance* My book is out today! If you're interested, please click on the cover to purchase it from Ravenous Romance.

hey there, sexy

Now, I'm excited. The final edit is done on the book and I got my cover!



Now I just need a release date.

Check out the blurb for the book:

Carlos Valendez has everything under control: his boxing career, his academic life and the string of men who never manage to encourage more than a passing interest. When his friend Michael Dywer moves into his dorm room, he never imagines how easily any of that could change.

Michael is a distraction. A sexy, bewildering temptation who entices Carlos with the briefest of looks but refuses to act on, or even acknowledge the tension between them. When Michael hints that his fantasies have the potential to be more, Carlos finds his priorities shifting to accomodate the unexpected complications of exploring a relationship he never knew he wanted and can't easily control.

untitled mindfuckery post

I'm going nuts. Which is to say, same shit, different day. I know things are bad when I can't even come up with a title for a blog post.

Maybe this is the usual prepub anxiety and I'm just getting my first taste of it. This will be the first story I have available where the majority of what's happening is not in my hands. I'm not designing the book cover, sending it out to reviewers, doing the final edit or deciding when it's going to be in the hands and on the computers of readers. I'm not sure I can take not being in control. (Screw that silly astronomical analysis from the other day, I am so a Leo.)

I think part of it is feeling like I'm not in full control of my half of the getting published process. I am, but I'm not. I've signed a contract, so there are things I'm obligated to do. And there are things I have to wait on from the other end. Right now, I'm waiting to hear back from an editor about what, if any, line edits need to be signed off on (I'm sure this sentence could do with some editing). I haven't heard from her in about two weeks, so I'm freaking out about that. I'm waiting to see my book cover. I know they know what I'd like to see, but I'm curious what the art department comes up with based on the (probably too vague) description I gave them.

It just feels like everything is happening too quickly. Two months ago I was beating myself up for not finishing the book fast enough. Now, emailless, I'm wondering if my editor has forgotten I exist. I'm probably worrying for nothing. She has a life. Other books/writers/life things to worry about. The date I heard about the book being released may not even be set in stone, so my concern about having time to look over changes could be based on nothing more than nerves about how the book will be received. I can't help worrying.

Adding to my general worrying: I broke the power cord for my laptop last week. So I've had to trek to the library or sneak on the computer at work in order to not feel cut off from the world. Plus, before that I was having trouble working on my new book. Then, no machine to type on! This wasn't an issue until a few days ago when I felt like writing something and my brain started to hurt at the thought of going long-hand. I type 90 wpm, writing a story the long way is not appealing unless I'm truly stuck. Now that I've got my laptop back to working order? Have barely written a sentence outside of a few posts online, a couple of comments on twitter and this blog post. Yay me?

I think part of the issue with this new story is being unsure of the storyline. I keep thinking the way things come together in chapter two is too convenient for the main characters - like, it would never happen that way in real life (or there's a reaaaaaaaally small chance of it) and readers would have to suspend their belief in this series of events to continue the story. Or does it matter? If the book is good enough, will the barely believable premise be a nonissue? I hope so. I like the way I've set up the beginning of the book, I just have to make the second chapter work so I feel comfortable continuing. On the plus side, my reader Suzanne says the first chapter is "hot." So much that she said it four times. Heh. Always a good thing. Now I just need a title (and maybe a little more of a plot) and I'll be good to go.

Oh, and a book cover, final edit and contact so I don't feel like I'm going crazy alone would be nice as well. ;-)

I swear, I'm not as down about this process as I might sound. I've been driving myself crazy about this book for a while now and I needed to vent. I'm excited and just want to see the book out already.

coming to a website near you...

Now we've come to the update portion of our program.

First off, I may have been worried for nothing. Well, no, that's not true. It's just that nothing is as bad as I thought. This is one of the side effects of living with a pessimist. What am I babbling about?

My book is going to be published!

I feel lucky right now. Someone said to me it's due to hard work (and she's right), but I feel like if I wasn't in the right place and time or if I'd finished school or done half a dozen other things differently, this story wouldn't have been written, submitted to this publisher, read by this editor and I wouldn't have been offered a contract. What's especially scary is that the editor left me a voicemail I didn't get until a week later; I was scared she might have changed her mind by the time I called her back. :-p Instead, she tells me she loves my book and I spent an entire double shift at work grinning like an idiot.

Now I'm just waiting on a contract, copy edits, a cover and release date. Never thought I'd type that sentence, not this soon. I feel weird about it. I expected at least one rejection. Not that I'm saying my writing's bad, but almost like the entire journey should've been a little bit harder and having my first submitted novel published feels like I'm jumping ahead in line. Of course, I've been writing since I was six and doing it seriously since 2001, so maybe I'm just feeling weird because it's finally happening.

And soon I'll be able to scratch something else off my two year To Do List. The first thing I scratched off was "submit to a publisher," the second will be "get published." I know, complicated, right? The third should be "get my website up and running." I found a server the other day. Now I just have to get my pennies together (the laptop will wait again) and pay for five years of hosting in advance. Plus, I should probably have some content. A video of me dancing in front of my camera while I reenact finding out I'm going to be published probably shouldn't be the only thing there. ;-) Anyone got ideas?