Women and Gay Romance

Over the last few years, I've come across a number of discussions debating the role of women in gay or male/male romance fiction and erotica. There's no question this genre has grown a lot in the last few years, due in large part to women readers and writers. I was surprised to learn quite a few people are not happy about this.

The phrases I've heard tossed around are things like “culture appropriation” and “gay fetish” to describe the interest (presumably) heterosexual women have in gay romance. I've held my tongue when these debates have happened, partly out of self-interest (as a writer, reputation online is more important than ever these days) and partly because it's difficult to weigh in when I see both sides of the issue.

Of course, I don't feel like I personally fetishize gay sexuality. I like to read and write about all kinds of things, a great many of them having nothing to do with sex. But I can imagine how gay men feel when it comes to women looking at pictures and videos of men together and reading their comments. To be objectified like that, even if it's not about you, feels dirty. I've read comments that made me want to distance myself from the woman who wrote them. I've had women give my books low ratings because there wasn't sex on every other page, or what sex was there was tame compared to a lot of other books out there. It's disheartening to realize there are people who come across like that's all they're interested in – many of them may not even realize it. Naturally, this results in men who hate how women are taking up such a large part of “their” world – to the point of being openly hostile to readers and writers just for being a part of this group. Some of them feel any woman who reads or writes gay romance or erotica is wrong, just because.

I liken the situation to the major political parties in the US. There are extremes on both sides who feel strongly about their position and they can be the loudest when it comes to disagreements. But, as in politics, even people within the groups sometimes don't agree with how the extremists represent the whole.

I'm not an innocent when it comes to this particular issue. I've done and said quite a few things I'm not proud of and I can't imagine the kind of impression I've left on gay men I've spoken to, either online or in person. I used to say things like “that's so gay” because I was young and silly and it never occurred to me to question why I or others said it or how it may make someone feel. I'm more aware of how I speak to people now and I've largely changed the way I think. I'm cognizant of how connected I am to the world around me and the world I've aligned myself with, not because I'm a woman most presume to be heterosexual, but because I sometimes still feel I'm on the outside looking in. I want people to respect me and my opinions and know when they speak to me I am genuinely interested in them and not attempting to correlate them with a gay stereotype in the media. I don't know if thinking this way now makes me more mature or less self-absorbed. I like to think it makes me more open to getting to know people, across the board. I like to think it makes me more attuned to how people respond to me. I like to think my attitude will allow people (read: gay men) to get to know me as a person and not assume I'm a hetero woman ogling them as entertainment.

But I'm just one person. There are millions of other women out there with their own variation of this story. I can't speak for any of them.

Where am I going with this?

A little over a year ago, I got an idea for a story about a woman who gets to experience what it's like to be a man for a day. Naturally, because of what I write, I thought it would be fun if she tried to have a sexual experience with another man. I asked around and the majority of women I spoke to agreed: If they could do it, a lot of what they'd want to experience would be sexual, either by themselves or with another person. Once I knew I was going to write this story, I realized I couldn't do it without linking it to a larger argument: What would happen if this woman had a lot of preconceived ideas about gay men that were challenged by her firsthand experience?

It was difficult writing this story. There were a few times I flat-out quit because I was putting so much pressure on myself to get it just right, to prove certain points. I suppose I was writing it in lieu of responding to all those arguments I kept seeing online. I pushed myself and finally wrote a story that explains, in small part, how I think some women feel when they're reading and writing these stories. This is by no means an excuse for some comments and behavior. It's just one possible version of reality for some people wrapped in a story.

Is the main character Jamie really me? No. Sort of. She's a more extreme, sillier version of the me from three years ago. I learned a lot of the lessons she has to learn in the book a long time ago and I'm better for it.

I don't expect people to love this story. I expect it to get people talking, for better or worse. I'm still trying to convince myself I'm doing a good thing. It's not a romance. It's...general fiction/fantasy, for lack of a better description. I think I'm prepared for the various reactions the story will get. Maybe.

This is not an easy to read story. It's social commentary. It's a thinly disguised critique of my social group, groups we interact with, and a segment of our environment. I may hurt feelings. I may hurt my chances of selling books in the future.

I care about those things, but I still had to tell my story. If you're curious how I did that, click here to read the beginning and find out where to get a copy.

Rainbow Briefs - a gift

I don't often talk about why I write male/male romance. It's a bit of a convoluted subject for me. I suppose the best way I can explain it is to connect my journey as a writer with my discoveries about my sexuality. Looking back, I always assumed I would end up married to a man, have children with him and be happy with the existence I was taught was “normal” growing up. But I've always been attracted to women. Even as a little girl, though I dismissed it then as just acknowledging that other girls are “pretty.” As I got older, I realized there was more to my feelings with regards to some women. I'm not a fan of labels, but for those who are, they would consider me bisexual. I've never considered coming out, because as far as I am concerned, to my friends I am an open book and always have been.

Being able to talk about it is still something of an issue for me. When I spend time with members of the GLBT community in my hometown, I get the impression everyone either assumes I'm a lesbian or a hetero supporter of the community. I don't correct anyone's assumptions, because I often feel like I'm being nitpicky in emphasizing that I'm attracted to the person and not their parts. I suppose part of it is the stigma that comes with bisexuality. The urging to “pick a side” or the idea that I'm only claiming it because I'm at an experimental time in my life and I'll settle down with a man once I get it out of my system.

So, I don't talk about it. Not frequently, anyway. A few years ago, I started to get involved with my local GLBT community. First, I attended a Rally for Equality. The outpouring of love and community support I felt that day moved something inside me and I wanted more. Later that year, I volunteered for the Queer Power March. I think that experience cemented something for me. I had been so cut off from the people around me, from the sense of belonging I could have, without knowing it. In the years that have followed, I've volunteered for my local Pride organization and that sense of belonging and community has only grown stronger.

When I wrote and published my first gay romance novel, I still felt a little cut off from my community, though I was just becoming aware how much I was missing. I began talking to people online, spending more time with community members outside of big yearly events, getting to know how people were different from media portrayals of marches and rallies. I began to embrace individuals rather than ideas. I put what I've learned and what I love into my stories.

The last few years have been a revelation for me. Connecting with people in a way that I couldn't before, I have come to appreciate my community as a source of love and support. I have come to feel the way we rally to each other's sides – in spirit if not in person. When the It Gets Better Project began, I cried over each video, because that was the kind of outreach I wish I'd had when I was younger. I had the feeling it would be a valuable resource for years to come.

When Kaje Harper told me she had a group of Young Adult stories and was toying with the idea of putting them into book form under her other pen name, I was excited. I've been touched by her work so many times and I had the same sense I got from It Gets Better – that the full scope of what could be accomplished would be so much bigger than either of us imagined. So, I urged her to publish it. I found a collection of her stories in the Young Adult GLBT Books Group at Goodreads and formatted them into an ebook-ready doc, hoping she would take it seriously as something that would be rather than could be.

Then, I waited.

A few months later, she contacted me to tell me the book was a go. She'd rewritten several of the stories and added new ones to round out the collection. When Kaje emailed me the draft of the ebook, I sat down to read the stories and something came over me. I smiled. I laughed. I cried. And I got a good feeling. The feeling that people reading these stories would be touched, would feel loved, would know there was a bigger message, a greater purpose, a worldwide community that loved them, just because. As we worked on editing the stories and getting the book ready for publication, that sense we were doing something greater than merely putting out a collection of short stories grew until the book took its final shape.

Rainbow Briefs is finally ready.

It has felt like a long time coming. From April 14th, when I first suggested it, until November 2^nd . It feels like a lifetime. I don't know if everyone will get what I get from reading these stories. I don't know if everyone will feel the love and support behind the words, the meaning behind the broader messages, but I hope someone does. If just one person feels more loved, more accepted, more hope for a brighter future, all of the work we put into the book will be worth it.

I find it difficult to put into words just how much this collection of stories means to me, but I hope you've gotten a sense of it today. I am so proud to have been a part of publishing Rainbow Briefs and I'm ecstatic that I get to share it with you. The best part of all? The ebook is free. Go to your local retailer – Amazon*, All Romance Ebooks, Smashwords, Goodreads, and others – and download the book. Share the links with your friends, your family, someone you know could use an uplifting message. Help us bring this gift to the community. And please, leave a review. Let the author know how much you appreciate her effort. I, for one, will not be able to thank her enough.

*A note. Because the book cannot be listed as free on Amazon, it will be 99 cents until enough people vote that it's available for free elsewhere. All author proceeds from the sales will be donated to The Trevor Project. There is also a paperback version of Rainbow Briefs available on Amazon and CreateSpace. The author will not be taking a commission from those sales.

inspiration and one-handed reading

I know it's been a while, but I have some news. I have a new story! Short, sexy and to the point, but it's a new thingie from me and I'm excited about it.

A few months ago, I decided that one of the things I would do to make myself more excited about my own writing would be to be more active in my writing group. One of the members suggested a section of writing prompts. Some of the prompts are written, some are pictures like this one:

He's quite inspirational, isn't he? I'd add copyright info, but I have no idea where the pic came from, other than a friend on facebook. Anyway, he's pretty, but I didn't feel the urge to write even after I'd posted the picture and this prompt:

 I almost didn't believe it when he'd said yes. But he ended up back at my place for what turned out to be one of the greatest nights of my life. Now we're both up and I need a way to make the awkward morning after a little less painful. Does waking up have to end in a walk of shame? 

I looked at it again a few weeks later and got an idea. A dirty, sexy, fun idea. And wrote all of 33 words on it. Yeah, my muse wasn't feeling it that day. But the next day? I sat down and wrote something so hot my computer screen got all steamed up and I had to put the laptop on ice after I finished - the story, that is. A few passes through my betas and several cover changes and I present you with Morning.

If you blush easily, I recommend not reading this one at work. Morning is available from All Romance Ebooks, Amazon and Smashwords.

short and sexy

Looking for something quick and hot to sink into during your lunch break or commute? My new short story Getting In Deep is now available from Amazon, All Romance Ebooks and Smashwords.


In her years of working as a journalist, Catherine O'Malley knew one thing above all others: getting to the heart of the truth requires unfailing integrity. Shaun Stone's embezzlement trial was the story of the decade and she'd been lucky enough to receive an exclusive interview with him. When the interview is done, will Catherine risk everything she's worked for or will the temptation Shaun provides prove too much to handle?

Hot off the presses!

The Strength of a Man ebook is now available at a megaton of places (check my website for details about your favorite retailer) and it's now out in paperback!

See Right Through, my LiAW story and the first in my Savannah series, is also now available from CreateSpace. If you have an Amazon account, you can sign in using that.

Six Sentence Sunday - Aug 26th

It's that time again! Six sentences from my novella, The Strength of a Man.

“You sure?”

“Just touch me already!”

James's laugh was smothered as Kurt kissed him again, pushing him back onto the bed. Kurt held James's head in place with a shaking hand, his kisses going from pushy to soft in the amount of time it took James to run his hand up the back of Kurt's jeans to the bit of skin bared by the back of his shirt. Kurt slowed the kiss until it was nothing more than torturous little pecks, soft bits of himself he shared with James, a little flick of his tongue, a pant of hot breath across his cheek, the slide of lips against stubble and hot skin.

James ran his hand up Kurt's back and Kurt arched into the touch like a preening cat, his lips breaking contact with James long enough to whisper, “Tell me how much you want me.”

For today only, you can download the novella for free from Smashwords. Use code: KE44U at checkout.

new stuff and free stuff and linky stuff

Yeah, I keep meaning to update my blog, but...I'm saving my words for my stories. Yeah, I know that's not an excuse. Well, it is, but not a good one.

Anyway, what am I doing now? Getting ready to release another erotic short story. Yeah, I've been doing quite a few shorts the last year or so, but my longer projects are in various stages of completion so I like to stay busy with the short stuff in the meantime. This story is a (much better) rewritten version of something I published in 2006. I'm really excited about 1. because it's smoking hot! and 2. because it's the first male/female story I've put out since...I'm not even going to guess what year that was. It's fun to get back to where I started, writing male/female erotic romance. I'm looking forward to seeing what people will think of it.

Speaking of awesome, people are actually responding to See Right Through on Amazon. I've gotten a couple of amazing reviews (yay) and it's being downloaded a LOT. If you're curious, you can get the novella for free from there, Goodreads, Smashwords and a number of other sites. Because it's free, you don't have to register an account to download it from Goodreads or Smashwords, but you do need an account to leave a review.

Want to help a great cause? Try GoodSearch. For every legitimate search you conduct, you can raise money for the charity of your choice. I use my account to benefit The Office of Letters and Light - the nonprofit behind ScriptFrenzy, NaNoWriMo and a number of programs for young writers. If you'd like to help them, you can use my link or register an account, find their name on the list of charities and make sure your efforts go towards helping them. The search engine is pretty effective and it's an easy way to help a charity that you can do every day.

See Right Through - free novella

My story for the M/M Romance Group's Love is Always Write Event is up. Click here to read See Right Through if you're a member of the group (and to read tons of other great, free stories). You can also download the novella from the book's page at Goodreads (you don't have to be a member), All Romance Ebooks and Smashwords.

Devin Salvo has always remained three steps ahead: in chess, on the pitch, and in his love life. His every desire is within arm's reach, except the one person Devin has always wished would be his in the end. All it takes is one conversation to open his eyes to a new possibility, one moment to change what Devin believes about friendship and love and one person to change the rules of the game.

Sam Marshall has been fighting his feelings for his friend and roommate for two years. When an opportunity presents itself, he makes his move, only to be faced with the very real fear that what he sees in Devin, the potential waiting to be realized, may be more than their friendship can handle.

The Strength of a Man ebook

The expanded version of my story Starting Over, The Strength of a Man, is now available at All Romance Ebooks and Smashwords.

Kurt Dennings learned one life lesson the hard way: love, even between a parent and child, is not always unconditional. After coming out and experiencing a painful rejection from his parents and friends, Kurt feels as if he's lost everything that mattered.


James Theard comes into Kurt's life when he needs someone the most. A friend first and boyfriend second, James becomes his shoulder to lean on, a voice of reason and helps Kurt learn he is stronger and more capable than he imagined.

a little tease

 Here's an excerpt from my upcoming story, See Right Through:

Sam watched Devin move another piece and then quickly moved his knight, taking it. “I want to know what part of this you have a bigger problem with. Call it curiosity on my part.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Sam began, “is your issue that Mike and I have talked about you a few times?”

Now it was a few times? Devin frowned.

“Are you bothered because he says he could see us together? Or is there something else?”

Sam's voice had grown quieter with that last question. Devin looked up from the board to see something he'd never thought he'd see from Sam. An expression that, on anyone else, would've been more than curious. It was open, vulnerable. A naked longing that disappeared as soon as Devin was sure he knew what it was, to be replaced by Sam pressing his lips together and looking down at the board again.

Wow. Okay. That made this conversation a hell of a lot more interesting. Maybe Sam had spent so much time analyzing Devin because he wanted to know if he had a chance. Devin wasn't sure how he felt about that.

“I'm not in love with the idea that you guys have talked about me,” Devin said. “It's strange.”

“I'm sorry our conversation made you feel that way,” Sam said. “I honestly wouldn't have said anything if you didn't want to know.”

“I know, I asked for it,” Devin responded. “About...us.” Dev looked up in time to see Sam's expression change before the mask slid back into place. “You don't think it's weird?”

Sam's lips trembled as he fought down a smile. “I think,” he began, reaching across the table, “life is full of possibilities.” He touched the back of Devin's hand with the tips of his fingers, gently stroking the skin. “If this isn't one you want to take advantage of, then you shouldn't feel pressured to do so.”

It wasn't Devin's imagination that the temperature in the room had risen. It was one thing when Sam was getting into his head on a purely academic level. It was another thing when Sam looked at him from beneath thick lashes as if he could unravel Devin from the inside out if given half the chance. And he so wanted that chance.

I may be getting my sanity back soon

I'll have to check with my muse, but I might be getting my sanity back sometime soon. (Or, some of it, anyway. I don't think I'll ever get it all back.) The extended version of  my short story, Starting Over, is finally finished. Again. Probably. Hopefully. Waiting to hear back from someone (and debating asking three more people to read it), but I think I've done it! Of course, I'm still high from the adrenaline rush from finishing yesterday, so I might go back and rewrite the last ten pages again in a fit of panic. Or not, if I can talk myself out of it.

Hopefully, it'll be out sometime in the next couple of weeks. I'm also trying to come up with a different title (since it is a very different story) and trying to work out the kinks in the book cover design. It'll come along, I'm sure.

In other exciting news, I did finish my cover for See Right Through. Isn't he beautiful?

 I can't wait until the story is posted at Goodreads. Only [censored] more days!

Free short story

My free short story, True Purpose, is now available at Smashwords and Goodreads.

Blurb:

Caught alone on a dark night, one man reflects on his past mistakes as he feels his life quickly coming to an end. Will one young woman be able to save him and herself from an uncertain fate as their paths and purpose become one and the same?

Love is Always Write

The Love is Always Write event has begun at the M/M Romance group at Goodreads. Six fantastic FREE stories have already been posted. The event will continue for most of the summer. No word yet on whether there will be free anthologies available, but if you'd like to read the stories, pop over to Goodreads.com and join the group (adults only, please).

Once you're a member, the Love is Always Write stories are being posted here, every day.

new series coming soon!

The Love is Always Write event by the M/M Romance group at Goodreads is almost upon us. I'm so excited, I can barely type. Why yes, since you ask, my story for the group is a large part of the reason I have disappeared from my blog lately. I rewrote about a third of my story twice and figured out how to tie it into an existing series I've been working on sporadically for over a year. Now? Now, the first (FREE!) story is going to be published soon (between the 15th of May and the end of July) and the pressure's on to finish the second story and really get the ball rolling. Also, I'm still working on the extended version of Starting Over, my free novella from last year's event.

What did I have for inspiration this year? A great photo chosen by one of the moderators of the group and this fantastic prompt by member Ami.

 

Dear Author,

See him? The one in the bottom of the pile? That’s me, Michael. And those two are my best friends, Dev and Sammy. My gay best-friends. I’m straight, by the way. I wholeheartedly love women. It’s just my fate that I have two gays as best-friends.

The trouble is, I KNOW that they are both crushing on me. That somehow they both wish I’m theirs. But what Dev and Sammy don’t realize, they’re actually perfect for one another. Now I just need help to make them see what everyone else see.

Sweet, right? I hope I did the prompt justice. I had so many ideas just from the first part of the prompt that I could barely get them down before I was swept in another direction. Ultimately, I went with something sweet and sexy with just a hint of southern spice, the perfect first story in my new Savannah series. Here's a taste of See Right Through:

Michael lifted two large pizzas in one hand. “Grabbed lunch. You guys hungry?”

Dev nodded, never taking his eyes off Michael. With six foot three inches of solid muscle and a smile that put the sun to shame, it wasn't difficult for anyone to figure out why his best friend was an occasional distraction. Whenever he walked into a room, Dev had trouble remembering his own name, never mind the best way to protect his queen from Sam's watchful gaze. All the attention was pointless, though. It didn't matter how many pointed looks he gave or the not-so-subtle flirting he did, he couldn't change the fact that Michael was straight. That didn't stop him from wishing for a sudden change of heart.

“Always. Just let us finish this game,” Sam said, drawing Dev's attention back to him and their game.

“Do you know if Lee's home?” Michael asked. “I was hoping we could play a pick up game after lunch.”

“He's not,” Sam said.

“We can still do that,” Dev said, his attention once again diverted. A chance to get Michael into some shorts and an excuse to tackle him repeatedly? Count him in.

“Granted, we've played rugby with four of us, but I don't think even we could pull off a three person game. One on one with a referee?” Michael asked.

“Two against one sounds better,” Sam suggested. He grinned, his expression turning lecherous as he eyed their roommate. Michael blushed and backed away a step, pizza held in front of him like a shield.

“I don't think two against one would be quite fair,” he said.

“I think you're big enough to handle both of us,” Dev put in. “I'd certainly be willing to give it a shot.”

“We promise it won't hurt,” Sam said.

“Speak for yourself,” Dev added.

Six Sentence Sunday - Feb. 11th

It's Six Sentence Sunday! Now for an excerpt from my novel, Hooked. By the way, the story is on sale right now at All Romance Ebooks.

Before he could stop himself, Carlos pulled Michael down into a kiss, letting his lips and tongue communicate everything he'd been bottling up for days – months, if he was being honest with himself. Michael responded with a tenderness that begged to be answered, plying his mouth with soft, teasing kisses until Carlos pulled away, moving until their lips were a hairsbreadth apart.

“We don't have to stop,” Michael whispered.

His fingers touched on Michael's neck before sliding up to thread through his hair. “I can't do this.” Carlos leaned up until their lips touched again.

so, about buttsechs

I've got a new blog post up on Conversextion about anal sex because, as we all know, I'm the expert on these things. Ha. No. It's sort of a beginners Don't Be Scared guide to back door fun. Please to be reading and commenting?

Speaking of buttsechs, I've got a new ongoing serial in the works and YOU can help me decide if I should keep it more about the characters and their drama (with their clothes mostly on) or keep the action going in all ways by participating in the survey to the right. Your participation is much appreciated.

new free anthology

Don't Read in the Closet: Volume Three is now available for download from All Romance Ebooks. This volume features stories from 27 authors, including yours truly. You can also get the stories in multiple formats from Goodreads.

get it while it's hot

If you were waiting to get it on your Nook or looking for the perfect little stocking stuffer, Worth the Wait is now available at Barnes and Noble and Diesel Ebooks in addition to Smashwords and All Romance Ebooks.

new short story!

Mm. Beautiful, isn't he? After you stop drooling over the hot cover, kindly go over to All Romance Ebooks or Smashwords and check out my new short story "Worth the Wait". It's only 99 cents.

Blurb:

For ten years, Ethan Davis has been content to be nothing more than Marc Guerrero's friend. After one drunken night in college, he forced Marc to pretend nothing between them had changed. Marc has denied himself for far too long. When Ethan comes to visit him for the weekend, he refuses to make the mistake of letting Ethan ignore what's between them a second time.

Excerpt:

With Ethan standing across from him for the first time in years, his for the weekend, the last thing Marc felt was a companionable ease. Things between them hadn't been tense for quite a while, but their relationship hadn't been as carefree as their early college days either. Marc put it down to that stupid drunken escapade that had him throwing himself at Ethan, desperate for more between them than shared study time and easy laughs. He'd broken Ethan's trust that day, and though he'd apologized his way back into the other man's good graces, Ethan never looked at him the same way again.

Now, things were different. He was different. Marc had grown up, gotten away from the partying lifestyle that made him feel as if his mere presence was a gift to those around him and knew himself for what he'd truly been back then. A fool. Hopelessly in love with a friend who'd never wanted more from him than he'd already given. This weekend, Marc hoped to change that.

As an aside, I saw this picture weeks ago and I'm so excited I finally have a story so I could use this for the cover. So, so beautiful.

hot and sexy for half the price

This is the weekend for great sales. At All Romance Ebooks, all Ravenous Romance titles are half price through tomorrow. That means you can get my book, Hooked, for only $2.49! Also, Ravenous is offering The 12 Hot Days of Christmas for free.