confessions of a writing prude

I know this is contradictory, given what I do with my time, but I am a writing prude. I guess I'm just sensitive about language. Part of my argument against referring to erotica as "porn" or "girl porn" is the type of language used and the context. But, aside from that point, there are some things I'm uncomfortable reading and writing. My pet peeve of the week: cream.

No, not the Prince song (which I love, by the way). The use of "cream" to describe female ejaculate. Obviously, going with a scientific description is less than sexy, but could writers use something that sounds less like food porn? I'm never going to look at ice cream the same way again. Or sweetened condensed milk, for that matter.

I don't know. I suppose when I read a sentence like, "he lapped her cream hungrily," I see that as layer upon layer of ridiculous. I have no problem saying a woman is wet, but compare her to an oozing twinkie and you've lost me. Sadly, there is a writer whose works I greatly enjoy who liberally describes creaminess in every sex scene. She writes it. I cringe. I keep reading. Perhaps because her books were cheap for me. Then there's the humor factor in that the last series I read from her was about a race of shape-shifting male cats. Cream lapping = hours of inappropriate laughter.

My point? Oh, I love reading stories that not only provide just the right level of erotic description, but do so without devolving into trite and sometimes mentally scarring word use. I just wish the ones who take the occassional bad description bend came with warning labels.