pussy jewelry?

No. Just no.


I'm not sure of the full reasons behind pussy jewelry *ahem* excuse me, a vulva portrait pendant, but something about it seems very wrong. Sure we all like a good pussy every now and then, if not yours then someone else's, but does that mean it should be worn around our necks? I don't know. What makes it weird for me is not just the idea that it's like advertising to men what your junk looks like, but also that the creator wants recipients to describe their stuff and then send in several pictures. Okay, the pics are optional, but that detailed description request just freaks me out. I guess because no two are alike?

Maybe I'm just a prude but I think there are other, less odd ways to celebrate the female body. I'd list them, but right now all I can think of crossing my legs in heavy pants.

Review: The Sweet Spot by Kayla Perrin

Once again, I think I'm at a point where I'll read anything an author writes. After reading Getting Even and Say You Need Me last year (see the beauty of libraries?), I didn't hesitate to buy this book when I spotted it a few months ago. I'm so glad I didn't. This was a fantastic read for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the masterful use of description, characterization and suspense.

Zoë is an imperfect heroine. Which I think makes me like her more. Hell, I can definitely identify with her better than some of the svelte supermodels who happen to look gorgeous when they get out of bed, have fabulous wardrobes they found at the vintage store and shoe collections worth more than some island country's GDP. Okay, she's not ugly and she does have a strong liking for Starbucks and designer clothes/shoes, most of which she can scarcely afford, but I guess her slightly insane personality balances it all out. I was half-convinced Kahari might take out a restraining order before all was said and done.

Speaking of Kahari, he is kind of perfect. Like tall, gorgeous, loves kids, appears to be the nicest guy ever perfect. Of course, he's attracted a crazy stalker. Zoë, being slightly misguided, sees this as an opportunity to jumpstart her struggling career as a sportscaster. Okay, that's not quite how it happened. More like her tongue outran her brain (which was only dealing with half a plan), all hell broke loose and the next thing I know, she's stalking Kahari herself. Fun, right?

Ha. I think Kayla might say I'm misstating this stuff, but I swear, I thought Zoë had lost her ever-loving mind at some point. Strangely, that was part of the draw of the book. Insane, but realisitic in the way that some women seem to get in their own way when it comes to relationships. I was dying to find out how Zoë would get her man (in a way that didn't feel rushed and was realistic in context) if she kept doing all these little things that drove him nuts. That's why I ended up reading half the book in one go - I refused to go to sleep yesterday until I finished it. It took until after 4AM, but it was totally worth it.

Things that made me love this book (contains spoilers):

- Zoë getting rid of her dickish boyfriend.
- A heroine who kept me guessing through most of the book.
- Speaking of ^^, a delightful amount of suspense.
- The pacing of their romance. It wasn't an instant we're-madly-in-love-after-meeting-twice kind of thing, and their attraction to each other (in spite of the circumstances) felt real.
- In spite of the drama, there are some parts of the story that are so funny, I didn't want to put it down to work (which is how I ended up staying up so late to finish).

There are plenty of other factors that made me love this book, but it would turn into a summary of the story. Yes, I loved it that much. Yes, you should go buy it today. Click on the book cover at the top of this post to visit the author's website and read the first chapter.

free short erotic story

Oh, look. Ravenous Romance is giving away a free short e-book. I don't know how long this offer will last, so my advice is to take advantage of it as soon as possible. Here's the synopsis for Handsome and Petal:

A clever and erotic retelling of Hansel and Gretel!

Handsome is a hunky construction worker/hockey jock with a serious sweet tooth. Petal is a big, beautiful woman with dreams of one day opening her own bakery. From the moment they meet, life is supremely tasty for the two new lovers, and poised to get even sweeter after Petal places in a YUM Network TV dessert challenge bake-off. If Petal wins, she'll not only have the money she needs to realize her dream, but she's got the man of her dreams to build her the ultimate bakery.

But first, Petal must face off against an evil witch in the dessert challenge kitchen for the triathlon-styled cooking event, a witch who plans to turn up the heat and take out both Handsome and Petal during the all-important gingerbread round.

All the download requires is a quick registration.

burnout

This is so sad. I thought I was over it years ago, but apparently I still have some things to work through. For a couple of years, I wrote nothing but erotic stories. Okay, that's not entirely true. I wrote erotic romance and the occassional satire. But mostly it was the fun stuff. Or not fun, as the case turned out. I got...I don't know what you'd call it. Bored? Burned out? I was just sick of writing about pumping and squirting and spanking and...it just lost appeal for me. And the thing is, it's not the writing itself that bothered me. I still read erotic stories, more lately than the past few years. (Of course I have more to read now, but that's another post.)

Right now I really, really want to write this story. Well, I want to write this one scene, the rest of the story is done. But I just...can't. I start writing and then I start debating word choice in the back of my mind (because that's what distinguishes the story from the porn for me) and leg placement and all the mundane things that go with creating that kind of scene. I'm just getting tired of writing the mechanics and describing body parts. And I don't want to use too many euphemisms because I find them boring. Besides that, the publisher I'm submitting to wants the stories to have more descriptive sexytimes than sensual evasion. Eh. I just can't make myself do it right now.

Would I be wrong to copy and paste a scene from an unpublished story and change the names just to get out of writing this one? Probably. I really need to get over it. This is why I'm better off writing erotic romance. I can get away with some euphemisms and still feel comfortable writing the rest of the scene. Yes, it is possible to write this kind of thing and still be a little bit of a prude. Maybe I should try being more creative. *sigh* Or I could wait until I'm in the mood again. Wonder how long that'll be.

Review: Shorts by J.M. Snyder

Mm. Girls like boys who like boys. Personally, I also enjoy reading about boys who like boys doing all the fun things they can together. After I read one novel, J.M. Snyder quickly became one of my favorite gay erotic writers. I've finally gotten around to reading a book of her short stories, purchased around the time Amazon decided that being gay wasn't profitable, and I wrote a little something about each story as I read it. Thank goodness for the save draft feature!

Normally I like to read stories with a little more prose and less sex, but as J.M. wrote in the introduction, sometimes you just need to kick back and have a little fun. That's not to say that some of these don't have substantive story lines, just that the main event is usually the center of attention.

Joy Ride - Okay, I have to admit to finding something about a man on a roaring motorcycle sexy. I'm not sure if the image of strong machinery roaring between a man's legs is fully realized when picturing a skinny guy on a Kawasaki. My reaction was the same as Mack's - intrigued, but there was something missing from that ultra-masculine image that did nothing for my libido. Then I got further into the story and started picturing Brad in his tight red biker shorts, bending over a bike with a look that begged to be answered - I'm thinking this story would make one hell of a movie. And I'm volunteering to direct. With a sexy premise, a teasing younger man and just enough action to get the blood pumping, this story is a hot must-read. Did I mention you can download the e-book for free?

A Little Something for Santa - I will admit to submitting to childish giggling as I read this one. The thought of anyone having pseudo-sexual thoughts about Santa seems so wrong it just has to be right on some level. After all, isn't fantasy supposed to be dirty fun? This story doesn't disappoint. Patrick was the perfect tease (my favorite type of guy), Santa was...well, you'll have to read the story. My favorite line: when Santa says, "I know what you're thinking, Patrick." I almost choked on my laughter and had to put the book down for a second. If Santa could read people's minds like that, a lot more of us would be on the naughty list. But, as the story illustrates, sometimes being naughty for Santa is just the way to be a very good boy.

Poolside - Fun. I have to say there's something about a guy who thinks he's completely heterosexual discovering a new side of himself with just the right motivation. I'm writing a similar story now. While I was reading, I kept shouting at Kevin not to fight it because it would feel good. Heh. One guess on whether he listened to me. ;-)

Pony Play - Like the main character, Drew, I've never really been into anything S&M related. (Okay, I have a few friends who would disagree, but that's another discussion.) So, I completely sympathized with his reluctance to get into a rather interesting weekend diversion - doing a little dress-up and becoming someone's pony. Of course, there is something intriguing about the idea - my mind kept giving me visions of Daniel Radcliffe in Equus, wiedling a riding crop and riding naked - but I was still a little surprised by how much I enjoyed this story.

Escape - Love this one. I developed a liking for erotic scifi after reading a few books in the genre last year. This story did not disappoint. It was short, sweet and gave me a strange craving for an erotic group scenario involving hot clones. Hm. Maybe I should suggest that to the author. Who knows, maybe she hasn't considered that.

Best Friends - Another fun scenario I've written - two friends acting on an attraction for the first time. It was beautifully written and so compelling I was almost late to work because I couldn't put the story down until I'd completed it. I'm kind of hoping to go through her catalogue and find she's updated this story with a sequel or written the novel length equivalent.

One of Us - Love, love, LOVE this story. I don't think I can say enough about it without giving half the plot away, which would be a shame. Everyone must buy the book for this story alone. This is one of several stories where J.M.'s powers of description are given remarkable voice. The scenery felt almost alive, the characters rich and the execution of the story left me disappointed when it ended. I really hope, no I insist that this one be written as a longer story. If for no other reason than to explore the scenario (which I can't reveal because it's a spoiler) as a story encompassing the entire town. It's a brilliant piece and I can't wait to finish the book so I can come back and reread it.

Threesome - Okay, there was lots more giggling and superfast reading as I went through this one. I feel silly because I can't find another word, but HOT seems to fit this one perfectly. I especially love the last paragraph or so because it put such a vivid image of the characters in my mind.

Easily Addicted - Another fun story with an unexpected ending. I identified with the main character a lot in finding that sometimes being attracted to someone, and the strength of that attraction can take you by surprise.

Hooking Up - See, there are few things that scare me and the idea of being photographed is one of them. Of course, if I were behind the camera...mm. And that's part of the appeal of this story. Imagining two people getting hot and heavy in front of the lens and being able to look back on those pics later. Then, of course, you wonder if this was based on a true story and the author has some links she could share. ;-) The other appealing thing about this is her amazing attention to detail. I love reading stories with vivid imagery and this one fits the bill.

Devilish Good Time - J.M. is great at a number of things. I have to believe she knows that fantasy/horror is one of them. I'm not going to go into too many details, but let me just say the hot boy interaction was not the only thing that kept me turning the page. The suspense was terrific.

Battle of the Bands - A great short with a surprising ending. Speaking of short - it was far too short! I felt like I was being teased. In a good way, of course, but I really wanted to read more of the interaction between the main characters. Can I beg a sequel?

Office Visit - Wow. :-p Ever heard strange noises at your doctor's office and wondered what they could be from? Wonder no more. I guess I'm bad because if I heard anything like what was going on here, I'd be tempted to open the door and watch. But that's a story for another day, isn't it?

The New Client - Instant movie material. And I'm volunteering to direct. There's a beautiful, textured feel to this that makes it memorable. I suppose it's obvious that I loved this story, and there isn't much more to add. The descriptions were great, the characters interesting and some of what happened (or how it happened) kept me guessing. A very enjoyable read.

Overall I did love the book, though I'm sure that's obvious by now. I guess my only complaint is that I felt some of them were too short - a sign of my own greed more than a shortcoming with the writing. The entire book is a steal for $14.50 in paperback and is available for $4.99 as an e-book from a number of sites. Also, several of the stories are available as single titles. Just click the title for purchase information.

messy, sticky and thick

Okay, it's wrong. I know it. I should pay attention to what's on my TV and not let my imagination get the better of me, but when I heard the title of this post on a commercial, my mind went places it should not have gone. I started picturing all kinds of scenarios involving threesomes and...body fluids and riding crops and...yeah. I blame the book I'm currently reading (which I'll be reviewing in a few days).

Please, if someone out there has the power, make the Vagisil commercials stop using suggestive language! It just traumatizes those of us only half paying attention when we realize what's being advertised.

On the other hand, the KY commercials are quite funny. And they at least inspire my writing.

honor among thieves

First off, I have to admit I'm not the most strict observer of copyright. (Mostly I tend to work around the laws for movies I don't think will be worth my money. I'm usually right. And I sometimes buy downloaded music on CD after the fact.) But, as I think is the case with most people, I have my limits. Like my allergy to sharing other writers's work. I don't normally do it. I think the few times I have done it, it was with books that were spread so far and wide over the internet, my participation in the sharing with one or two friends didn't make a dent. Or so I believed. But there is a limit to what I'll do.

Some people don't have that whole boundaries thing to deal with. I recently discovered one of my friends on myspace selling copies of Stephenie Meyers's unreleased Twilight book. Not the biggest Twilight fan (I still say she's going to reveal one day that they are all parodies and the last movie is going to be the greatest spoof movie ever. Of course I thought The Governator winning California could be part of some elaborate reality show.), but I sort of understand the appeal of a perfect, beautiful stalker boyfriend and the average girl who lands him in spite of her best efforts. What I don't understand is another writer openly selling stolen goods.



I mean, aren't we all in the same boat? Trying to make ends meet, get a name for ourselves, get people to respect our work - which includes only buying legal copies. It's one thing to give away a copy to one friend, it's another to post an ad on myspace telling over 9,000 friends you're willing to sell someone's work. Especially since Meyers has already made it clear how pissed she was that the book had been leaked to begin with. It's kind of disgusting. You'd think, as writers, we'd at least respect each other enough not to do that. There are so many places where people can legally obtain e-books (even free), why should a writer contribute to the ease with which e-books are shared? Looking over his page, I see that he is clearly against domestic violence and child abuse. Well, at least he has some limits.