Inspiration

The first time a guy in my life inspired me, I wrote the better part of my first book around him. Granted, this was high school, and it wasn't a grand experience I can look back on fondly. (Not because we were young, but because he turned out to be a closeted liar, among other things.) Writing the fictional him was far more satisfying on a personal level. I didn't realize how well I'd captured his personality until several years later when I reread the story. Strange how great relationships seem until you look at them in hindsight. Still, I wouldn't trade those first few happy weeks for the inspiration he gave me.

Now? Mm. J. Okay, I've had this rule about getting involved with coworkers...pretty much since it went badly the first time. Same with smokers. But he just kind of snuck in. I've been saying whatthehell?? for the past couple of days. Well, maybe I was secretly saying hell yes, but he surprised the hell out of me. We've worked together for a couple of months and I had no clue he likes me (aka he thinks I'm beautiful and sexy and likes to stare at my lips and fantasize about kissing me :-p) until Tuesday. Happy surprise.

The sick part, he is so dangerous. Not violent dangerous, personal sanity dangerous. He reads my mind. He reads me. Far too well for someone who barely knows me. I'm thinking that either means we rank high on the compatibility scale or he's especially smooth. Probably both. Still, it scares me. And he knows it. And teases me about it. And then last night/this morning, I realized he reminds me so much of a character in a story I'm rewriting. Bold, flirtatious and drives the MC crazy in a very good way. I'm tempted to steer him into saying something my character might say so I can take notes and finish the part of the story I'm struggling with. It wouldn't take much, he does flirt constantly.

I have to resist that temptation. I mean, what if doesn't work out? Then this story will always remind me of him. Of course, this blog entry might see to that, but I don't want to make that connection any stronger than it is. Except that I do. I want to weave my favorite pastime with my current favorite person until it melds into a delicious piece of fantasy fiction. Or maybe I just don't want to stop thinking about him long enough to get any writing done. That's going to go over well next month. I am quickly realizing it is just as easy to lose yourself in a good man as a good story.