hard times

So sex and romance and love and changing the world with our Very Special Connection and...all right. Here's the deal. The past few days I've been trying to do something different with my main characters. In a few books I've read (most recently, The Tower and the Tears and Collision Course), there comes a moment when the reader can actually perceive a marked change in the interaction (feelings) between the two characters. Sometimes it's small - a relaxing of boundaries, perhaps - or sometimes it's the moment one or both characters fall in love. It's not often that it can be pinpointed to one exact moment, even more rare that this moment can be written into a sex scene, so doing it well is of concern for me. Basically, I'm trying to show a change between when the characters are having sex merely to spend their lust and doing so as an expression of their love.

Yes, it sounds cheesy. No, it does not have to be written that way. But tell that to my muse.

I've rewritten parts of this scene so many times I've lost count. Not that thinking about two sexy guys sharing hot, sweaty manlove is a laborious task, but I'd like to finish the chapter (last of the book) already. I wish I had some gay male friends who could read it for me and tell me if what I have is too cheesy or right on target. Right now I'm trying to determine that alone and I don't know if I'm being too hard on myself or if my instincts are correct and I need to keep plugging away at it.

Dang it. Maybe writing out my concerns here will help me sort it out in my head and on paper. Certainly, ignoring my blog isn't helping resolve the issue.