semi-motivated

I want to cry. Some days I feel like such a failure as a writer. I haven't gotten a chance to really prove myself. But in a way I have. I've self-published a few stories and had several chances to send original stuff to publishers over the years. I just feel like I should further along in this thing by now.

I want to become a better writer. Part of my problem is that I never feel like I've learned enough about writing to do justice to my ideas. I'm always thinking that if I wait a few years, an idea I've had will suddenly turn into poetry in my hands. In some small ways, that's true. I've rewritten stories years later had them come out much better, but that may be because I'm not a fan of second drafts just after I've written the first.

I just need to get it together. I can't keep telling myself that I'm not good enough yet to really make a go at this thing. I've been working towards it forever. It's about time I get there.