Admitting Defeat

I have to admit it, NaNo is kicking my butt. I thought I was going to do so much better this year, but I just couldn't pull it out. I'm so far behind I don't think I can catch up. It's not the story that's becoming too much for me this year, it's all personal things getting in my head while I write (plus the obscene amount of noise in this house from roommate and her boyfriend - for those keeping track, this was number four on the checklist). I'm about a week behind the word count and I'm pretty sure this is where catching up is more a dream than a plan. I'm not giving up on the story, though. I love this story. I just can't finish it before the end of November. The sad part is anything else I would've attempted, wouldn't have gotten this far with me.

I don't really feel like I'm giving up, more like conceding to the inevitable. My muse just hasn't been cooperating. At least, not on this story. I was working on other things (after staring at the word doc in frustration for a few days), I gave up the tea deprivation and that worked for a while. Then my muse gave up working with me altogether. This blog entry is the most I've written in days. I want to keep going. Even though I know I won't make it to 50,000. I just need to kick my roommates out next week when I know nothing will be on TV and I'll have at least two days off work. Maybe I can still get to at least 30,000.